Sunday, September 30, 2012

I just feel like either way I"m gonna be the one that's gonna get hurt. It doesn't matter what your decision is for anything, I am gonna be the one hurt in the end. It's gonna fuckin be me.
And the most annoying part of it, is that I actually have some fucking feelings for your ass. I know, I know, it's sick after the way you treat me. But I just can't help it at all. I have strong feelings for you, real fuckin strong. I know I say this about a lot of people, but when it comes to you, I actually mean it: I can honestly say that the feelings I have for you, I have never had for a single other person. I'm not gonna say I love you, because I don't think I know you well enough to come to that desicion just yet. But my feelings for you are unlike anything I've ever experienced before, and they scare me, a lot.
And it also sucks because I can't tell if you actually care about me like you say you do, or if you're just lying for the sex. I wish I knew. And until you tell me to leave you alone, I sadly feel like I'm just gonnakeep doing what I'm doing. Cause I'm pathetic like that. It just hurts me to think that you like me, because those are the things you tell me, and then hear from your friends that you're just using me, and any feelings he has for me aren't as real as I think they are. It honestly breaks my heart to hear.
Fuck you, honestly for playing with my heart like that.
I honestly want something with you, something I've never wanted from someone else before. I legitimately can see myself in a relationship with you.
I'm so comfortable around you, all the time, doesn't matter what we're doing. You make me laugh constantly, and I need that from someone. You treat me so good too, always giving me rides and  treats and who could ever forget the sex, I can't see how it could possibly be any better. You're always there to listen to me when I need someone to talk to, and I like how you can openly talk to me to about anything.
I love how we can go from having a serious conversation about anything, to hooking up in the hottest way possible in .2 seconds. We're so funny together, like it's just so fuckin hot when we're together all the time.
I just think that we work so well together, and I care about you a lot more than I ever thought I would. And I think that deep down, you feel the same way. I just wish that you would come to terms with that and fuckin realize it.
I like you, I'm starting to realize that now, and as much as I want to ignore it, and hope that those feelings go away, I just can't do it. I have to act on my feelings, sorry.

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