You are hands down the most amazing person I've ever met.
It sucks super hard that you have a girlfriend. But she's one lucky bitch.
You are the biggest sweetheart, and I will never forget how you looked after me.
Sorry for waking you up, but thanks for carrying me around, and making sure I didn't hurt myself. Thanks for making sure I didn't go swimming with a pedophile, and thanks for making sure I was safe.
Jo, you are an angel and I will never forget everything you did for me.
Call me up if you're ever single again.